I've been reading through a couple of RA blogs that I follow and I realized that I'm pretty lucky where I stand with this disease. The blogs I was reading are from people my age and younger who's disease has progressed farther that mine at a very quick pace. I just read from a new blog I discovered and this girl was diagnosed in her early 20's and has already had 2 knee replacements. I guess in the grand scheme of things I'm pretty lucky.
Some of the things I've been reading are so true...the sympathy looks (I mean you Shanley!), the lack of understanding what RA really is because it's not about getting old, not being able to work, the feeling that people are sick of hearing how much pain you are in day after day. I try to be honest when someone asks me how I am. The only thing I can say is if you ask me how I am, be prepared for the answer. We don't have to have a conversation about it but most times it's enough for me to say, "I feel shitty today" and be done with it.
So everyone who may be reading this.....most of us know someone or know someone who knows someone with RA. Just remember these few things:
1. RA is not about getting old.
2. Slow down when you're walking with someone who has RA. Don't try to make them keep
your pace. You should be keeping thier pace.
3. Hold the door!
4. Don't look at them like they are dying.
5. When you ask, how they are, of they need anything.....mean it!
I love all my friends! Everyone has been so supportive and I thank you for that!
It is tough to be on the recieving end of the sympathetic looks and unintendedly thoughtless reassurances. We have dealt with that for 12 years. It used to drive me crazy. People just don't know what to say or to do. But, your blog is VERY helpful. It gives people an update and a guide of how to be supportive of you the way that the support would be the most helpful. And, I have realized that the people who say or do the wrong things at least care enough to make the effort. We have lost a lot of friends who don't want to risk putting thier foot in thier mouth, so instead they say nothing and pretend that nothing is going on. We are there for you always! Feet in mouth and all!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog Ang....isn't a nice way of communicating what is going on with you and at the same time just getting things off your chest? I know blogging has helped me in times where I felt like I just needed to vent.
ReplyDeleteWe need to hook up soon...maybe I can come out to your school some day next week to make the drop off. I have a lot of good products for you to try. Going to EcoBella tomorrow...will let you know how it goes.